Our Farewell
by Sandylee007
Summary: My official farewell fic. When lovers are ripped apart, all left behind is a promise. Will it be kept before it’s too late? YAOI ReKa Character death


A/N: You guys… I've known for a while now that this day would come, but still… I could've never expected it'd sting this much. (blinks away tears)

Disclaimer (for one last time): The characters from Beyblade still aren't my property, as – sadly – isn't the amazing song "Our farewell" from Within Temptation.

As you may have noticed from the summary, this waned to become a death-fic; I just saw no other option for a farewell fic. (wipes eyes) So… um… I hope you guys have your tissues ready; I myself have never been as emotional as I've been when writing this one.

(**About the flashbacks…** As you may notice, they advance from newest to oldest, playing out a love-story from byes to the beginning. (Just thought I should mention this, so you folks won't get confused.))

So, here we go… I still can't believe I'm really saying this, but here comes my last fic. 'Hope you'll enjoy of it!

* * *

**_:Our farewell:_**

* * *

/ **_In my hands  
A legacy of memories  
I can hear you say my name  
I can almost see your smile  
Feel the warmth of your embrace_** /

* * *

/ _Thousands of stars illuminated the sky that night of late fall, their light greeting the person stood on a balcony. The boy – no older than sixteen – clenched the wooden railing so tightly that his knuckles were white, jaw gritted to such tension it hurt._

_For a long moment, he gave no sings of life, barely even breathed. Then, a hitched, pained breath escaped his tight lungs, hurting more than a moth of flames._

_Having been stuck in that so called party for the past hours had been a pure hell, with all the forbidden he'd been forced to lock back. There was no way he'd be able to go back and watch someone he loved beyond anything walk away, pretend nothing was missing._

_He suddenly tensed even further when there was a soft moan of opening door. " Kai?"  
_

_Had he possessed even an ounce of the strength it required, he would've turned around and walked away, spared them both from this. But he remained stoned, his now open eyes of scarlet finding their way to the stars, seeking solace and strength to do what he had to. He was surprised to find them shining far brighter than before. Perhaps they already knew how much would be sacrificed that night._

_Familiar presence approached him, until he could feel the other standing right behind him. Something beyond tension hovered in the air as his companion fought against the banned temptation to reach out a hand and touch him. It took a long moment before there was a faint, strangled whisper. " I'm sorry."_

_It was said with such desperation and grief that Kai felt his entire chest twitch. For a moment, his eyes narrowed, fighting against the hellishly burning tears. " Just go, Ray." Was that really his voice – so raw and hollow? " This is how it's supposed to be. So leave. Please."_

" _No one asked me if I wanted any of this!" The despair in Ray's voice shattered his heart. The tone was broken by sobs. His body jolted when a pair of arms wound around his petite waistline. It took all he had not to lean into the familiar, warm embrace. " Kai, I… I can't do it… I…"_

" _Ray, stop it." Kai futilely tried to gulp down the sore taste in his mouth. The weight on his shoulders was almost enough to shatter him, but he still refused to shed a tear. " This – us… We were just cheating fate for a while, living in a dream-world. We both knew it'd end one day or another." It was painful to breathe. " So let go of it and go back to China, to Mariah. That's how it was meant to be from the very start."_

_For a moment, he could feel Ray shuttering against him as the neko-jin sobbed soundlessly. Slowly, the boy's hold on him broke, leaving him cold and empty. " I will come back, I swear to you. No matter what it takes, I'll see you again." The floor-boards squeaked just a little under slow, retreating steps. Ray's parting words sent a dagger through Kai's heart. " Kai, I love you. I love you too much to lose you."_

_Despite furious attempts, Kai couldn't bring himself to replying, no matter how loudly his mind screamed._

_I love you too._

_And soon, it was too late. Everything around him was unearthly silent._

_It wasn't until then, as Kai felt Ray's presence lingering away, did the Russian allow a couple of tears fall through closed eyelids._

_And at the same moment, snow started to fall. It kept snowing for a full week._ /

* * *

/ **_But there is nothing but silence now  
Around the one I loved  
Is this our farewell?_** /

* * *

There was a look of anxiety and fear in Ray's eyes as he stared out of the taxi's filthy window, all that'd happened during the past months whirling madly inside his head. 

Saying final goodbye to the village – his home, family, friends back there – had hurt more than he could've ever imagined, as had telling Mariah they were never going to get married. But despite that, returning to Japan was the only thing he could do.

Because living without a heart hurt million times more…

" So… You're not from around here, are you?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Ray blinked in between annoyance and surprise. He hadn't uttered a single word during the entire journey, and the driver still wasn't taking the hint? Gosh, this one was even thicker than he'd thought… " No", he responded curtly, once again sinking to the landscape flashing by. " I'm not."

He didn't have to glance at the rear-view mirror to see the man's greyish eyes flash with unnerving curiosity. " You here for love, then?"

He grit his teeth in frustration and irritation. What did it take to make this guy shut up? " Yes." But still… His lips moved against his will. " I came… to fulfil a promise." His golden eyes narrowed and darkened. _I just hope it's not too late…_

" I see." There was a moment's silence. " You shouldn't worry too much. One way or another, I'm sure he'll hear you out."

Hearing the word 'he', Ray jumped with shock, giving a gulp. " How did you know I'm…?" In any other occasion, he would've been amused by how he still couldn't bring himself to saying the last word.

Through mirror, he could see the driver smile knowingly. " I had my suspicions." Just then, they'd arrived to the dojo that'd once upon a time felt like home to Ray. " Here we are…"

Swallowing thickly again – his pulse sky-high – Ray paid for the ride with trembling hands. Though he'd five minutes earlier considered the man the most annoying person in the face of our planet, he just had to ask… " How… How can you be so sure? About him listening to me, I mean? That… he's been waiting all this time?"

" Because if he loves you even tenth of the amount you love him, he has no other choice." Again, the man smiled. " Good luck."

With a heavy, shuttering sigh, he slid out of the car. " Thanks. I'll need it…"

As the car disappeared, he felt cold shivers of nervousness when he slowly, almost like reluctantly, started to approach the Granger-dojo.

It'd been two years, during which he hadn't sent them even a single letter. What would they say?

Gosh, he couldn't blame Kai if the Russian would punch him…

For a moment, he considered just spinning around and running away, like he'd never even been there. But he never got the chance, because just then the door opened, and frantic-looking Tyson dashed out, followed by Hilary, Max and Kenny, who seemed just the same. They all looked like they'd been crying.

The trio froze dead on their tracks when seeing him. Tyson's jaw made an anime fall. " R – Ray?" the bluenette wheezed.

Hilary looked at him with a confused blink. " Since when have you been back?"

" I just came." He then frowned, looking around. Icy fist squeezed around his heart when he realized that one familiar face was missing. " Where… Where's Kai?"

He'd never felt as cold and woozy as he did when seeing the look upon Tyson's face. " We.. We were just on our way to hospital." The boy gulped with difficulty. " There's… been an accident."

Those words made Ray feel like throwing up.

* * *

/ **_Sweet darling you worry too much, my child  
See the sadness in your eyes  
You are not alone in life  
Although you might think that you are_** /

* * *

/ _Deep in his heart, Ray had always known the time of truth would come sooner or later. But never had he expected it to come this soon – or that it'd be this agonizing._

" _You are coming back to the village Ray!" his father roared from the other end of the phone. " This nonsense must come to an end! We've let you fool around long enough!"_

_Ray's blood – as well as his eyes – were burning. For most of his life… he'd been following every single code of honour of his home-village, done his hardest to be perfect, worthy of the White Tiger. Who would've thought it'd come to this… " I'm not coming back, not ever again. I can't!" Pushed forward by a sudden burst of bravery, he said the hardest. " I'm not leaving the one I love!"_

_For a briefest of moments, his father was struck speechless. Once he recovered, his voice sounded like thunder. " These ridiculous games of yours have come too far!" the man grunt out. " You will come here, and – even if we'd have to drag you to the altar – you will marry Mariah! That was settled when you were five! I'm not allowing you to put your family into disgrace like this! You're not marrying some… girl just because you desire to act out like a child!"_

_Up until today, Ray hasn't figured out what gave him the foolish courage to say what he did next. A wave of ice went through him before he spoke out, surprising himself with the calmness and evenness of his tone. Perhaps this had to be said. " It's not a girl, father."_

_The silence seemed to last for small eternity. He'd never heard such iciness he did when his father finally found his voice. " Ray, this time you've come too far." It felt like he'd been shot. " Either you return willingly, or we'll come and get you."_

_Tears of desperation flooded down his cheeks. " No! I'm never coming back into that cage! I don't belong there, to you! You can't do this to me!"_

" _This baloney must come to an end", his father snarled back. " You are a minor, and I'm your legal guardian. There's nothing you can do to stop me."_

_Ray blinked furiously, the tears burning. " God I hate you!"_

" _Next week, you will come home. You'll have until then to say goodbye to this… playmate of yours", his father went on with a freezing tone, ignoring his words. " And that's the final." Before Ray got a chance for another word, the phone-call was over._

_His father's words starting to sink in properly, Ray buried his face into his hands and sobbed hysterically._

_When he finally found the strength to return to bedroom for about an hour later, he had no idea that Kai (laying in the bed, back to him) was awake. The Russian had heard every single one of his words._

_As Ray slowly, cautiously laid himself beside Kai and wrapped his arms desperately around the slender Russian, a couple of tears that shone in moonlight ran down the dual-haired teen's cheeks._

_And again, it started to snow outside._ /

* * *

/ **_Never thought  
This day would come so soon  
We had no time to say goodbye  
How can the world just carry on?_** /

* * *

Ray's heart raced like it'd been about to burst as he basically flew through the hallways of the hospital, almost tackling down several people. Every fibre of his tensed being screamed out voiceless pleas and prayers. 

Begged that he hadn't came too late after all.

He suddenly halted when seeing a familiar person slumped to a bench, face buried into his hands. The old man's shoulders were quaking.

Finding it almost impossible to breathe, he took a short step closer. " Mr. D?"

Startled, the man looked up at him, fruitlessly trying to wipe away the tears escaping his red, puffy eyes. " Ray?" The man blinked a bit. " Goodness, when did you come back?"

" Just now." Frowning, he wrapped his arms tightly around himself, as all warmth had abandoned him. " What… What happened? How's Kai?" His voice was thin and lost, almost like one of child's.

Looking away, the man shook his head and gulped loudly, seeming just like he was feeling. " He… He never had a chance to… to see that car… It came from behind red light…" The man's lips moved, but no words could be heard.

Feeling like throwing up again, Ray found himself shivering. He was about to ask more when Kenny's voice suddenly spoke. " Hey, there's a doctor coming!"

Immediately everyone was up, desperate eyes locked to the about forty-years-old male-doctor approaching. His nametag said Aki Irosawa.

Ray's chest felt so tight he didn't believe his heart had room to beat.

_Please…_

But the look in the doctor's silvery eyes quickly put off all hope, ceased his breath. " Are you here for Kai Hiwatari?"

" Yes. I… I'm his guardian", Mr. Dickinson almost whispered, seeming to tremble. " How is he?"

Dr. Irosawa gave a deep sigh, running a hand through his cherry tree –coloured hair. " You… You need to understand that his injuries are extremely severe, and most of them are internal." The man swallowed harshly. " He… would need a surgery, but… He'd never last through it." His eyes shone unnaturally. " I… I'm sorry… We've done everything we can, to make him feel comfortable."

Ray's head was sent spinning so badly that he was sure he'd collapse. Leaning his back against a wall, he wanted nothing as badly as to scream at the top of his lungs, to break down completely. But he couldn't.

Max's tear-filled words vaguely reached his ears. " Can… Can we see him? Please?"

Dr. Irosawa nodded slowly, grief in his eyes. " But only one at a time. I… afraid Kai wouldn't be able to take more."

Ray was a bit surprised when Hilary looked at him, ruby-eyes shining with tears she was desperately trying to hold back. " You should go first", she whispered. Her voice quivered. " I know you're the one… he'd want there."

He could see Tyson's mouth open for a protest, but for once, the bluenette was smart enough to shut up. Nodding and giving Hilary a feeble look of relief, trembling Ray started to follow Dr. Irosawa.

With each and every step, he found it harder and harder to face what was coming. Once again, the thought of running away like a coward felt more than tempting.

But just then, the doctor stopped before a door, giving him a sad, evaluating look. " Are you ready?"

Some other day, Ray might've laughed. Ready? How the hell was he supposed to be? But at the time, all he could do was give a faint nod. " Y – yeah…"

But as he stepped in, he suddenly wished he'd ran away after all. Tears wanted out with such intensity that it almost spared him from the sight. But just almost. " Kai…", he choked out, tone distressed and broken.

Gosh, he'd never seen anyone look so fragile… Kai whole form – much more slender than the last time he'd seen it – seemed to be cowered by stitched up wounds, some of them so big they hurt even him. The boy's face was completely pale, seeming even more so due to the blue tattoos. Ray had never seen anyone so still; the only signs of life Kai gave were his swallow, wheezing breath, uneven rise and fall of chest, plus the beeping of heart-monitor that sounded unnaturally loud.

For a longest moment, Ray was paralyzed by shock and pain that was almost enough to still his heart. But finally, he found enough strength to take the few, weak steps that led him to the Russian. Desperation written all over his face, he clenched Kai's limp, cold hand, begging for even a slightest pressure. " Please… Don't leave me…" Tears fell when he felt nothing at all. " You… You can't… Not after everything…"

But Kai didn't reply, didn't even flinch.

* * *

/ **_I feel so lost when you are not at my side  
But there is nothing but silence now  
Around the one I loved  
Is this our farewell?_** /

* * *

/ _The hotel room was filled with blissful silence as a couple laid on bed, the taller of them having wrapped his arms around the other._

_Giving a content sigh, Ray snuggled closer to Kai's familiar warmth. " Do you think the others are getting suspicious?" he murmured._

_The sound of Kai's soft, deep laughter warmed him up inside. Still – even though they'd been together for four months – it was sadly rare he was allowed to hear it. " Tyson wouldn't figure out even if we kissed right in front of him. And I doubt Max and Kenny would, either." His gaze turned somewhat thoughtful. " Hilary may have a hunch, though. But I don't think she'd tell anyone."_

_Smiling, he kissed Kai's neck and searched the softest spot whit a teasing bite, knowing full well it drove the Russian crazy. " Would it be such a bad thing if she did?"_

_Kai smiled – another thing far too rare. " No", the boy admitted. " Perhaps not completely."_

_As Ray looked into Kai's fierce, untameable eyes, the wave of sensations running through him suddenly became far too hard to resist. Surrendering under his urges – or rather, pure heat – he trailed a row of demanding kisses down Kai's neck._

_The dual-haired teen gasped in surprise. " Ray…" The boy's voice was husky, shivering with the same that was roaming under Ray's skin. Their eyes met, both shining with same fire and desire. " Are you sure?"_

_He nodded determinedly, gaze filled with softness as he ran a hand down the soft skin of Kai's cheek. As he spoke, he sounded unfamiliar. " I've been this sure only once in my life; four months ago."_

_Kai needed no further invitation. Their moves were a bit clumsy and fumbling in the beginning – after all, it was the first time for them both. But they knew each other so well that they quickly picked up the pace, knew exactly what to do to the other._

_Ray gave a stifled moan and held Kai so tightly his nails dug into skin when a raw, wild fire from the Russian rushed through him, lighting him into a flame. It felt like he'd been sent flying and falling at the same time; but he didn't feel fear, not with those safe arms around him, Kai's heart thumping right against his._

_Since finding out what the world outside was all about, he'd been fighting against his village; the elders, rules, boundaries. And Kai… Almost from birth, he'd been struggling to defy his grandfather, to shake the shadows of his mighty family name._

_That night, caught into a hurricane of vehemence, the two rebels – wild souls – formed a bond no human could ever shatter._

_Leaning closer to his ear (causing him warm shivers of pleasure), Kai whispered certain words for a first time in his life. " I love you." The boy gently pulled him a bit closer, making him give out a shivering gasp of pleasure. " Always."_

_The bubbling of joy in Ray's chest was so intense he hadn't thought such existed. Smiling and closing his eyes, he also tightened his hold on Kai. " I… I love you too." The passion reaching its peak, he bit Kai's neck almost possessively, giving his all. " You're… my everything."_

_Little did they know, that only two weeks later, Ray had that phone-conversation with his father that changed everything…_ /

* * *

/ **_Sweet darling you worry too much, my child  
See the sadness in your eyes  
You are not alone in life  
Although you might think that you are_** /

* * *

Ray lost his breath when Kai suddenly moved just a little, moaning in pain. " K – Kai? Are you awake?" 

Two pools of wine cracked open, gaping at him hazily. Gaining some focus – and realizing that it was truly he standing there – Kai blinked, obtaining an expression of shock. " Ray?" It was nothing but a breath – so quiet he barely heard it – but enough to bring tears back to Ray's eyes.

The Chinese's hold on Kai's hand tightened, and he opened his mouth to spill out all that'd been whirling in his head during the past years; all longing, pain, love, remorse and hope. But too many words wanted out at once, leaving him speechless. In the end, he managed to choke out four scarcely audible words. " I'm so sorry."

For a long moment, Kai seemed like he couldn't quite decide what he wanted to say. Suddenly, the boy gave a soft cry of pain and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, even after everything clenching Ray's hand for support. As the worst attack of pain subsided, the Russian took several deep breaths before opening his eyes halfway to look at him. " I… thought you… wouldn't come…" There was no accusation – only bottomless sadness – in those words, but ironically, it cut Ray even deeper.

Sniffing, he tried to swallow down tears and shook his head. " No, I… I'm just… a little late, that's all." He inwardly cringed at the bitter irony in those words. _I just had no idea of how badly late…_ He decided that more needed to be said, that Kai had to know. " Kai, I… I couldn't bring myself to marry Mariah. Father almost killed me, but… I couldn't do it. Not when…" He trailed off, words disappearing from his mind.

His heart was torn to pieces when he saw the small, soul tear that travelled down Kai's sickly pale cheek as the boy nodded weakly. Slowly, the dual-haired teen turned his head, looking out the window. Despite another tear that escaped, the boy smiled faintly. " It's snowing."

Also looking out, he found his golden eyes aching when seeing the pure-white snowflakes drifting pass the window. It felt almost like watching Kai slip away. He bit back tears. " Yeah…"

For a long moment, they stared at the snow in thick, grief-stricken silence. Eventually, Kai spoke in near-whisper. " I… I blamed you for so long, you know? For… giving up." The Russian grimaced as yet another assault of pain washed over. " I… I know it was stupid, but…" The boy trailed off, words failing him.

Ray found himself gulping thickly. Moist and warm travelled down his cheeks. " I…" He was almost choked out of words. " … so sorry…"

He jumped a bit with surprise when Kai's cold fingers brushed his hand softly, affectionately, eyes not meeting his. " Don't… be stupid…" Now, the boy's eyes finally found his. He could've cried at the pain and sadness in them. " I… forgave you… long ago." It was even harder for him not to break down completely when the boy fell into a couching-fit, blood staining the hand he brought against his lips. Each drop screamed out that time was running out.

For a moment of silence, he simply stood there, squeezing Kai's hand with utter desperation, feeling more helpless than ever in his life. And then, with such force he could barely breathe, all damns came crushing down. Hysterical sobs took over his body, tears streamed down his cheeks. His mouth opened for a hopeless beg, but all that came out was a broken mew.

Seeing him crumble down, Kai's own eyes started to glimmer with tears. " Damn you, kitten… Why are you making this even harder?" Gulping thickly, the boy made room, wincing with pain. " Come here…"

Still sobbing, he climbed to the bed and buried his face into Kai's far too cold chest. Had he been able to, he would've cried out at how weak and uneven the heartbeat his ears caught was. As the Russian's arms wrapped gently, almost protectively, around him, his sensitive nose caught the boy's familiar scent of ocean; one that always reminded him of longing. Hot tears kept rolling down his cheeks, his body still jolting with the surge of emotions.

" Shh…" Kai's soft hand trailed weak, circling movements on his back. He could tell the boy was an inch from tears himself. " Don't cry, kitten… Please don't cry, not for me…"

Those words only increased the ache he was in. Shivering uncontrollably, he wrapped his arms tightly around the taller teen, barely registering the fact the he probably brought the boy even further pain. Kai jolted. " I… I can't lose you, Kai!" he cried, squeezing his golden eyes tightly shut. He bit his lip when feeling Kai's heartbeat grow even fainter, his hold on the boy tightened still. " You… You can't just… give up!"

Stroking his hair this time, Kai gave a tiny, miserable laughter, though it most likely hurt hellishly. " I afraid… that's not our decision to make."

Ray had no idea of for how long he remained paralyzed, crying frantically against Kai's scarcely moving chest. But his whole chest twitched when Kai suddenly fell limp, shivering from something beyond cold. " Kai?" His voice was hitched with panic as he promptly opened his eyes, staring straight into Kai's with wild panic rising.

The breathtaking auburn orbs – that'd formally held untamed fire – seemed cloudy and pained when gazing back at him, tears welling them. Again, Kai was overcome by a wave of wrenching, hacking coughs. " I… I'm sorry, too…" The voice was distant, strength behind it gone. Some shining tears escaped the Russian's eyes as they found his once more. The boy visibly struggled to lift his hand to caress him one more time, but lacked the strength. Slowly – without Ray being able to do anything but watch – the eyelids slid closed. " For… not keeping… the promise…"

Ray's eyes widened with sheer panic unlike anything he'd felt before. His heart hammered madly as he felt Kai's losing the last of its frail beat. " Kai… don't you dare…!"

But his heart already knew there was nothing his words could've done to change what was inevitably approaching.

As Ray's heartbreaking howl of utter despair and sorrow ran through the hallways some time later, the gentle snowfall outside turned into a blizzard.

* * *

/ **_So sorry your world is tumbling down  
I'll watch you through these nights_** /

* * *

/ _There were exasperated looks upon the faces of Ray, Max and Kenny as they walked behind Tyson and Hilary, who'd been fighting over a variety of subjects for full three hours in a row._

_Earlier that day, it'd actually felt like a good idea for the team to go and eat together once more, celebrate Tyson's victory against Zeo and make plans for future. But, as they should've expected, it couldn't run that smoothly with Tyson along…_

" … _this be the last time you get us kicked out of a restaurant, Tyson Ethan Granger!" the bruenette shrieked, paying no heed to the fact that the whole hotel-floor could hear her._

_Tyson visibly grit his teeth. " I need food to grow up, you know? You had no right to take that pizza away from me, you… you… girl!"_

" _Stop it, you two!" Kenny practically begged. By then, they were in their room. The fighting soon ceased, and everyone frowned when they found the room completely quiet. " Now this is odd."_

_Max frowned a bit. " Do you think Kai went to bed already?"_

_Ray felt unnerving squirming in the pit of his stomach. When Kai had first announced he wouldn't join them for the meal, he'd been… well, disappointed, to say the least. But now… The feeling turned into worry. Before he knew it, he was on his way to the room he and Kai shared. (A thing that at times brought him great discomfort, increasingly so during the past year.) " I'll go and check up on him", he announced._

_Kenny nodded. " 'K. I'll be in my room working with Dizzi."_

_Max yawned, stretching. " And I'll better get to bed. G'night, guys."_

_The gang said goodnight, and – with Tyson and Hilary's everlasting fight continuing – Ray reached he and Kai's room, the squirming in his belly becoming far stronger. He frowned._

_I wonder what this is about…_

_Deciding to be cautious, he knocked softly. " I'm coming in, 'k?" Certain that it was safe, he entered – and froze immediately, blood running cold._

_No, Kai hadn't been sleeping; instead he was packing up his bag, jacket waiting right beside it. The boy gave him surprised look. " Oh… You came back already?" The voice sounded strange, foreign._

_He gulped thickly, shivering. " What… What the hell are you doing?"_

_The boy looked away, focusing on what he was doing. " Packing", he replied simply. " The Championships are over; there's no point in me staying. I'm going back to Russia."_

_Panic – so intense he feared it might suffocate him – rising in his chest, Ray emitted a strangled gasp. " W-what?" No…Not again…_

_He managed to come out of the shock for a while when realizing that Kai – his jacket on, the bag in his hand – walked right pass him, not giving him a glance._

_His body working almost reflexively, he outstretched a hand, graphing Kai's wrist so tightly it must've hurt. It took for several minutes before he managed to speak. " Why?" It sounded pathetic, childlike, but he couldn't have cared less._

_Kai bowed his head, hair falling to shield his face. For a long moment, the boy stood completely stoned, until he suddenly leaned forward. Ray gasped loudly when the Russian's lips brushed his cheek, the gesture – though it lasted only a mere second – holding so much it took his breath away. " Because… there's nothing left to stay for. It would hurt too much."_

_Shock flooded over him, with such force that his hold on Kai broke, hand moving to cover the spot Kai had kissed. He didn't realize that boy walked away, closing the door softly after him._

_For a long moment he stood there, shivering all over and heart pounding against his ribcage. The kiss… It… It felt like he'd woken up from a long, dark dream. " Kai…"_

_He was jolted out of daze when the door suddenly opened. In peered rather confused looking Tyson, who was rubbing his head. (Apparently, Hilary had chosen to end their 'disagreement' with a good, old-fashioned smack.) " Ray, what the heck is going on here?" the bluenette demanded. " Kai just walked pass us with all his stuff packed up. And when I asked what he was up to, he wouldn't say a word; not that he usually speaks much, but he seemed… weird."_

_Ray's eyes flashed with terror and determination._

_I've gotta stop him!_

_Tyson could only blink in surprise when the Chinese suddenly sprinted pass him, looking like there'd been a fire on his tails. " Hey…!" But the other was already gone. He pouted, folding his arms. " Why doesn't anyone around here tell me anything?"_

_Ray's chest heaved as he darted through the hallways, blatantly ignoring all the people he almost bumped into. He'd have to catch up with Kai, before the boy would leave never knowing…_

_Finally outside, he panted furiously for breath, then gazed around with frantic eyes. His heart almost stilled when there wasn't a slightest trace of Kai._

_Was he too late after all?_

_But just then, his sharp eyes detected a familiar, dark figure leaning against a wall, most likely waiting for a taxi. Flood of relief almost overwhelming him, he rushed up to the boy. " Thank… God…", he gasped once within the Russian's earshot. " I… I thought I was… late…"_

_Kai's fiery eyes were filled with a wild mixture of shock, pain and disbelief when they met his. The boy blinked. " Ray?" Sharp hint of hurt could be heard in the tone. The Russian frowned. " What are you doing here?"_

_Snorting, he shook his head. " Gosh, Kai! You're really blind sometimes, aren't you?" There was amusement, but also anger, in his shaking voice. " I should punch you, you know? You almost gave me a heart-attack!"_

_Kai's frown deepened. " Why would you care?"_

_Deciding to let actions speak for words, Ray jumped forward with a lightning's speed, his lips meeting Kai's hungrily, demandingly. For a moment, Kai was too stunned to react in any way. But soon the Russian returned the kiss with all his passion, arms lacing around his waist._

_As they eventually broke apart (both suffering from a severe lack of oxygen), he realized that his gaze was clouded by spilling tears. Kai, on the other hand, stared at him with eyes he'd never seen before, panting. It took a long time before the boy managed to croak out. " How… long?"_

_He gave a quivering smile. " Since the first World Championships. That's… That's why it took so long… before I dared to come back to Japan, to face you."_

_His mind spun a bit when Kai melted into a small, soft smile, the Russian's hand brushing the exactly same spot on his cheek the boy had kissed earlier. " You should've told me."_

_He pouted, gulping down tears. " So should you." Sniffing, he leaned his forehead against Kai's, his arms wrapping tightly around the other. At first, Kai tensed under the touch that was still foreign to him, but soon relaxed, causing a warm flutter into his stomach. It took a while before he found his voice. " Don't you dare do anything like this again, alright?" It was close to a whisper. " Promise me you'll never leave me again."_

_Pulling him closer, Kai buried his face into his hair. " I promise", the Russian whispered._ /

* * *

/ **_Rest your head and go to sleep  
Because my child, this is not our farewell._** /

* * *

Several weeks after Kai's death were pretty much nothing but haze for Ray. He ate, perhaps even slept, but didn't really register any of this. And of the Russian's heart-shattering funeral, he remembered nothing at all; later on, Hilary told him that as the coffin had been buried by thick layers of dust, he'd simply collapsed to his knees and screamed out at the top of his lungs, crying so hysterically he barely managed to breathe. 

As he stood by Kai's grave, staring at the tombstone with eyes that'd already shed far more tears than the Russian would've wanted, he was once again at the edge of crumbling down. Nauseating taste filled his mouth as he yet again read through the text.

_Beloved friend,_

_the only true Phoenix._

At the last line, were words he'd begged to be added; just so Kai would know, wherever he was.

_Amor vincit omnia._

He hadn't realized he was crying once more, until he tried his cheeks to find them hot and moist. " I came, because… because I want you to know that I haven't given up." He gulped, though it was almost unbearably painful. Tears hindered his vision. " No… No matter how long it takes… I'll come to you. I… I'll never fail you again." As he closed his eyes, he could still see the familiar face, the fire in those eyes that'd became his world. He bit his lip. " I love you, Kai, beyond any boundaries of this world. And whatever it takes… I'll find my way to you. Even if I'd have to search for eternity."

Gently, as though the most fragile piece of porcelain, he laid the single, perfect lily in his hand to the dirt. A gift that carried so much more than it seems.

He grit his teeth, sheer determination flaming in his golden eyes. " Please, wait for me. I'll find you some day. I swear."

As Ray seconds later straightened his form, he allowed his hand to caress the cold stone, and could almost feel soft, warm skin instead. Gritting back tears, he brought his hand to his lips, then back to the stone, sending his love and promise – his heart – into distant unknown, praying they were accepted. " Bye", he whispered, voice cracking despite all pledges. " Never goodbye."

Several minutes later, he finally found the strength to turn around, away from the unbearably painful tombstone. But he only managed to take a couple of steps, before halting in utter shock, huge exhale of breath erupting. Inside his head, whispered an echo of a familiar voice.

' _I love you too._'

Turning around slowly, almost terrified of what he'd find, he realized he was trembling. What he saw made him blink in stun.

There, on the tombstone, sat a beautiful, flawlessly white dove. Its eyes – holding a breathtaking shade of auburn he knew so very well – seemed to burn right through him.

Again, he gasped, unable to take his eyes off the bird. " What…?"

' _I'll never stop waiting._'

Was… was that just his imagination – work of desperate, futile hope? Was he seeing things, losing the last of his sanity?

Still looking at the bird, mesmerised, Ray decided he didn't care.

Through still spilling tears and shock, he found himself smiling. " Thank you."

As he slowly, reluctantly, turned around again and walked away, the bird gave a triumphant chirp and rose to its magnificent wings, towards the rising sun.

* * *

/ **_This is not our farewell._** /

* * *

_**Owari.**_

* * *

_Amor vincit omnia. - ' _Love Conquers All.'

* * *

A/N: (tries to stop crying) I… I can't believe I just killed Kai. I've done it once before, and if it gives you folks any consolation, it stung just as badly now. (wipes away tears) I just hope I didn't finish as an author with the worst of my creations; I had so much whirring in my head that I barely knew what I was writing. 

(desperately attempts to calm down)

Um… I don't really know what to say here. (Damnit… I've always been crappy when it comes to saying byes.) First of all, thank you so much for reading this fic! And to those who've read my former… 'creations', especially if you've actually spent time to leave me a review… Thank you from the bottom of my heart! (glomps every single one of you) You guys can't possibly have any idea of how much I'll miss you! (burst into tears once more)

But hey, I'm not saying goodbyes here. Even though I'm not an author anymore, I'll stick around, checking up on what you guys have to say about my fics (which – hint, hint – means that I'll keep on reading reviews), and reading your baffling reviews. Who knows, perhaps I'll get my lazy arse into action and even leave a review myself.

Kisses and hugs to every single one of you; 'hope you won't forget me, because I sure as heck will never forget you! And be good; I'll be watching over you!

'Love ya! XX

/_Sandylee_/


End file.
